Your divorce doesn’t get the final say. Heartbreak is just part of the journey that is your life. If you’ve experienced heartbreak and find yourself struggling to make sense of what went wrong or what to do next, this article is for you. March 5, 2018 Zan 1 Comment. I have dreams of becoming a home owner, business owner, public speaker, mother and wife again. You’re going to get out of bed and do all of these hard things. Going through a painful divorce made me a fighter. I would open the good wine and pour us both a big glass. Some days, you’re going to wait to pick them all up. What a good thing this can be. These cookies do not store any personal information. As humans, we are faced with a choice: We can either stick to the past and miss out on our future, or we can do our best to accept circumstances as they are and press on to a brighter tomorrow. If you ask me, the latter option sounds a lot more appealing. I am sure the title alone evokes a deep sense of anger and annoyance. What opened my eyes on the positive aspects of heartbreak was my mom. You want to know why heartbreak is good for you. Invest in authentic live-giving friendships and prioritize the people you love. Heartbreak can create an immediate pathway to this. We could try to escape heartbreak, but I believe it would always find us, one day. I am now aggressively saving for my dream home and vacation. My teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, says it keeps us honest. We’ll never admit it, but we usually play a big role in the breakups we experience. I wish it was one person’s fault, because I am really outstanding at pointing out your mistakes. Love him or hate him, you'll always want to know what he has to say. It forces us to admit that we are human, and this is a great tool for becoming authentic and offering all that we have to give. So take a good look around the room because it might be time to do some rearranging. Loving is always a risk, but it is an even bigger risk not to love. I was wondering why I hadn’t seen many articles on divorce. We do not need more callous people in the world. You do not need a significant other to lead a significant life. Do you want to start volunteering or go back to school? I would open the good wine and pour us both a big glass. In this way, a broken heart awakens us. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, Sign in to comment to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with your friends. One of the biggest pitfalls for us as humans is that we choose to deny the fact that we feel or that life impacts us. These cookies do not store any personal information. Be you, and be free. It also often produces tears and better human beings. Maybe it means showing up to the workplace you still share, making the painful phone call, or finding some new friends. It is, after all, a universal experience—and one that makes us and life suddenly become real. The beautiful thing is that we’re fully capable of growing past these hard places because we have the power to change. This realization hurt, and I hated discovering this dark piece of my heart. Because on those days, you’ll know that you had no part in this break-up. With all the excitement that comes with Halloween ending and the holiday season around the corner, some people skip over it and go straight to their Christmas playlist. Your break-up doesn’t get the final say. I encourage you to take a step back and make room for yourself. So heartbreak is actually something that can produce more connection in … To become a better you, you’re going to have to take ownership of your faults. And Why Are People Drinking It? You’ll thank yourself later. Turning the Mind Into an Ally Heartbreak is good because it deepens your soul in that it makes you more empathetic to how others feel. Isn’t that enough in itself to make this experience of being cracked open worthwhile? I want to turn things around with her so we can be a LOT more than friends. Declare that it was all your fault and wallow in just how terrible you are. Oh so this was the room where I snuck cookies upstairs past my bedtime and stole R-Rated movies to watch when my parents were asleep and now I'm expected to earn my degree in this very same room? However, the truth is that our hearts will get broken open anyway—whether we are involved with others or not. You have to remain confident in yourself when someone lets you go and you must love yourself enough let someone go. One of the most beautiful things that has come from this season of my life was being able to walk with the broken hearted. What better way to get into the Thanksgiving spirit? My teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, says it keeps us honest. I am heartbroken all of the time. Chögyam Trunpa says in his book Smile at Fear: ‘”When you are just there, then, if you see the actual darkness, that will inspire light.” So, if we accept our broken-heartedness and the pain that can be in it too, that is when we actually begin to lighten up. Everyone in a relationship will inevitably cause the other pain. Some doors are meant to be shut. My mantra was, “You’re going to get out of bed and do all of these hard things.” I spoke these words out loud to my ceiling fan every single morning while contemplating my ability to get out of bed. TheEverygirl.com is part of the Domino Collective. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Sometimes, we get so caught up worrying about what we lost, rather than realizing what we are gaining in its absence. The habit of begging people to stay and the guilt we feel letting them go is nothing more than sympathy — you don’t want to see someone you love hurt. It also often produces tears and better human beings. 15 Minutes Of Walking A Day Can Change Your Body! I’m going to share with you what heartbreak really means, why it’s a good thing that it’s happening to you and how you can move past the hurt and into a place of harmony and contentment faster. Hell no, but it will be so worth it. Where do you want to go? It’s going to take healing and tons of work, but you’re going to rebuild and restore your life. Pema Chödrön is an American Tibetan Buddhist. For a while, you might be upset that it perturbed you, but ultimately, it is a good thing it woke you up because that life storm was about to eradicate you while you slept. View your next breakup as an opportunity to better yourself. There is a quote from "Twilight" that I think perfectly shows how heartbreak is a necessary part of life and love and it goes, "Without the dark we'd never see the stars."